Divorce may be stressful and complicated. But deciding on custody and visitation issues and determining what is in the best interests of the children may be especially difficult.
Children first
The highest priority in child custody and other divorce matters should be the best interests of the children. Remaining calm and focused is important for their parents. It also helps spouses make agreements that are beneficial for their children.
Relinquishing physical custody or giving an advantage to your soon to be former spouse are less important than your children’s well-being. Physical custody should be based on what is realistic and which parent can provide the best care, for example. The parent without that custody can focus on other custody and visitation matters.
Communication
Like it or not, you should try to communicate with your spouse, especially in negotiations and in court. Listen to them when they are speaking.
Do not focus on what you want to say or snappy comebacks. Before you respond, consider what they say before you answer or provide your rebuttal. Do not interrupt.
Hopefully, this courtesy will be reciprocated. Communication will also be important in the future when dealing with custody matters or parenting matters.
Leaving the table
Walk away or end the conversation if the discussion becomes acrimonious. This helps avoid saying something that you will regret later.
Have your attorney communicate with your spouse and their attorney if that spouse is abusive or makes you feel uncomfortable. There is no room for direct communication with your spouse if they engaged in abuse against you or your family during your marriage or relationship.
An attorney can assist you with negotiating a custody order that is in the child’s best interest. They can also represent you in court proceedings and settlement negotiations.
